The Cameron Method - Newsletter Archive
28 December, 2001 - We Few, We Happy Few
Inner Mind Update is an online, subscribed newsletter published by Sharon & Clark Cameron to encourage and support your benefiting from The Releasing Strategy, part of The Cameron Method Mind Change System. We focus on key developments and challenges of the mind, current affairs and life itself. Subscribe or write us at camerons@compumind.com.
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We Few, We Happy Few
In Shakespeare’s Henry V, the king speaks of his comradeship with his soldiers before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415. They are vastly outnumbered, and the king is moved to joy from the willingness of his men to join him fighting to the death if needed in upcoming battle. He says,
“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
“For he today that sheds his blood with me,
“Shall be my brother.”
Have you ever had friends take a stand with you and fight a good fight for a cause you both believed in? Have you had friends come to support you when you have been attacked? I have recently been so lucky. I was so impressed by people who simply stood up and told their truth because it was the right thing to do. They were unafraid of a seemingly powerful hierarchy they confronted They didn’t think for a minute of danger to themselves. They proved to be an incredible force. They were unstoppable.
The words of Henry V. came ringing in my heart. There is nothing so spiritually uplifting as experiencing that kind of unselfish love. The courage to do the right thing. Willingness to stand up and be counted.
I’ll never forget it, and though it was a traumatic situation in the beginning, their efforts made everything worthwhile. Good triumphed. The battle was won and foes destroyed themselves.
These people will always be my sisters and brothers, not through a bond of blood, but a bond of Spirit. I can only wish such a wonderful experience for everyone. But it may not be comfortable being in a place where you need such help.
Have you ever been unjustly attacked in the office place, in interpersonal relationships, in your church community, in your family?
It can be a devastating experience. In the workplace, the practice is institutionalized with a pejorative for the people who do it. They are called “a..holes.” There is even a book titled “A..hole no More” that describes the types of attackers in a humorous way. You are led to laugh because there is nothing else generally you can do about it.
Attackers always launch their attack against someone they think is weaker, or vulnerable in some way. They are grown up bullies who make life miserable for people unlucky enough to have to be around them.
We have worked with clients who have come in specifically to learn to deal with these types of people without leaving a job or other situation they cared about.
Recently, we have found a marvelous book that elucidates ways you can be verbally attacked and how to deal with those attacks effectively. It was originally published in the early 1980s, and is a classic. It is titled, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense, by Suzette Haden Elgin now published by Barnes & Noble.
She tells of four basic principles of verbal Self Defense as:
- Know that you are under attack. If you think you come out of conversations feeling hurt and down because you are oversensitive, you won’t recognize danger when it exists. You can be taken by surprise because you have no idea what verbal aggression is or how to spot it. You’re an ideal target.
- Know what kind of attack you are facing. You must learn to judge your opponent’s strength and skill.
- Know how to make your defense fit the attack. Overkill is not needed, but you do need to carry out your response once you have chosen it.
- Know how to follow through. Remember, it is a “gentle” art of self-defense. But be prepared to handle your own negative feelings when you have to do it.
The author categorizes eight types of verbal attacks that you can learn to spot and against which you can learn the appropriate defenses. This is a book that everyone should be familiar with.
Now one of the things that can hinder your successfully using the lessons of this book is freezing up under the stress of the situation. That’s where the Releasing Strategy I write about in Designing Your Heart’s Desire: The Releasing Strategy, comes in. You can use it to remove the fear-based reactions you may be feeling going into verbal combat. With it, you can be calm and cool under any pressure.
Use the Releasing Strategy, described in the book Designing Your Heart's Desire: The Releasing Strategy, by Sharon Cameron. Repeat these statements aloud just until you can say them easily.
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